"Winds of Change"

They keep talking of these "winds of change" that they see coming, I
don’t see it. One doesn't need to go far. Just outside of this
box of a home you "own", there is  another box, with the same old
story, no change, no development. Even if you do root for a change, the
voice of a "well wisher" will try to change your mind, and you will let go of
what you believe, to adopt what they believe in. At a younger age,
when i was more optimistic, i would have never thought of writing
whatever this is, i was a fresh feminist of sorts, with no ideals except
one; that all are entitled to what they want to believe in. Funny how
4 years outside of that 'protective environment' changes you for life,
turns you from your faith in the abstract, or at least, leads you to not
count on it. The existence is debatable and has been debated on, but
the beauty of it is; that there is no proof either way. I for one
believe that it will all, more or less, turn out the way one believes
it to turn out. 4 years of exposure, it took, to make me give up on
society, and I didn't put up much of a fight, now i lay, in the words of a dear friend, suspended amidst all the mediocrity of the "society", of
"mankind", of the "human-beingness" of it all. Change that, he says.
But why? Am i not satisfied right now? Am i not content with the
knowledge that this failure of a society is all i will ever be exposed
to? All i will ever be a part of? In future, when a more knowledgeable
species has taken over, will i not be part of that society? No
mark left by me will ever be great enough to talk forever of how i was
not like them. I was, even if ever so slightly, better than them, a
better animal.

I can think of no filthier word than 'human being" and its synonyms.
It sickens me to be part of it, i do not wish to escape, mind you, i
just wish to be differentiated, but what did i ever do that was so
great? Smarter people than me have tried and failed. Well, one can
always wish.

I feel my body reject the mediocrity, just like the society frowns upon
me. It can be compared to an organ transplant gone bad. The only
sanctuary i find, is in my mind, of which no one else is part of, not
even I know all that goes on in there.

I look outside my window and i see it all, i see what i am part of,
what i will live my life in and what i will disappear rejecting. I see
a semi-naked man misusing a beautiful, completely clad woman. I see
society.